Sunday, June 26, 2016

How Many Times

How many times can you walk into a restaurant, go through a fast food drive-thru, or order a guilty pleasure, and say to yourself....this is it, this is the last time.  

I've re-written this post for hours, and sat on it for days. Trying to figure out what to say about it.  But the simple fact is, I’ve said that phrase often.  I've told myself - this is it, this is the last time...

...I'm going to order that pizza (and then do it again days later, usually eating the whole thing in one sitting).

...I'm going to go to the grocery store to pick up a quick dinner (and then get more than just A dinner).

...I'm going to order a sandwich through the drive-thru (and end up ordering three).

Even after I noticed these patterns, I kept on doing it.  Maybe not all the time, but enough for it to feel like Groundhog Day whenever it happened again.  And since I can't even remember how many times that has been! is the time it really does need to be the last.  

So I guess the question now is, what comes of admitting it.  What's the next step to make those rare moments, instead of regular routine. To be honest, I'm not exactly sure yet...more to learn and figure out.  But this post has been a "this is it" moment I'm proud of.